So many of the difficulties faced by people with ADHD are somehow connected with time: being late for appointments, missing deadlines (or scrambling at the last minute to meet them), losing track of time (by getting distracted, or by becoming “locked in” or hyperfocused), procrastinating, having trouble getting started on projects or estimating how long something might take, forgetting what someone said to you just now, or blurting out stuff at the “wrong” time and regretting it later.
In fact, says Ari Tuckman, “When you really get down to it, ADHD is all about time.”
For people with ADHD, time can be very slippery. Some people have internal clocks that tick loudly and regularly and help locate them clearly in the flow of time through a day. For others, the clock is much quieter and maybe not as precise, and it’s much easier to lose track or get lost in time, and to get overwhelmed as a result. This “time blindness” is why people with ADHD struggle so often to get places on time or get projects done without having to stay up all night the night before they’re due. These things are really hard to do if time seems to pass at unpredictable, random speeds. It’s hard to get organized if you don’t know how long anything takes. Or as Ari Tuckman puts it, “It’s hard to do the right thing at the right time if you don’t know what time it is.”
Tuckman describes the ADHD experience of time as like trying to measure the physical length of something with a warped ruler, where some inches are stretched out and others are squished and compressed. Sometimes time seems to pass painfully slowly; boring tasks seem to take for ever (“Oh god, I’ve only been doing this for five minutes?”). Other times, when we’re absorbed or “hyperfocused” on something, time flashes by without our noticing (“Really, I’ve been doing this for three hours without moving?”)
Related to this is the fact that people with ADHD tend to “feel” the future less strongly than some other people. “Now” can be pretty intense, but next Friday (when that report’s due) doesn’t have much traction. Russell Barkley calls this a kind of “future myopia,” rather like how people who need glasses don’t see what’s in the distance so clearly. As a result, things get left to the last minute; suddenly on Thursday night you “feel” the fact that tomorrow’s the day, which means either you’re up all night working on the report, or you miss the deadline.
People who don’t have ADHD tend to have an easier time with time management because their internal clocks are louder and tick at regular intervals, and because they’re more sharply aware of the future. It’s not because they’re more responsible, or care more, or because they’re smarter, or somehow morally superior. For people with ADHD (and their partners and friends), this is vital to understand; if you know what the problem is (and what it isn’t), you can address it more effectively, and perhaps collaboratively (and clear away some layers of guilt and self-punishment in the process).
If you can identify the real nature of the problem, you can figure out ways to work with it. Tuckman outlines three main categories of time management strategies that are useful for people with ADHD:
CLOCKS. If you can’t rely on your internal clock, you need external clocks. Maybe lots of them (something to do with those old iPhones sitting in a drawer somewhere?). Put clocks in places where you’ll see them often, maybe places you might not have thought of but where you especially need them (like in the bathroom if you daydream in the shower, or it’s your favourite place to scroll). For some people, old fashioned clocks with hands are best. Or get a watch with a big, bold display, and wear it!
TIMERS AND ALARMS. These are great to remind you that it’s time stop doing one thing and start another. Or to help you remember to do the thing you promised your partner you’d do this afternoon. Or to start getting ready for bed (bed time alarms can really help if you tend to get engrossed in stuff at the end of the evening and regret it the next day).
SCHEDULES. By putting tasks into a schedule, assigning them a block of time, you’re purposefully visualizing time, giving it a more tangible form, looking into the future, acknowledging and giving weight to the “not now.”
In my work with men with ADHD, I’ve found that there’s sometimes resistance to using these kind of strategies (for some people the mention of calendars can evoke a visceral reaction). Usually there are very understandable reasons for this reluctance, rooted in past experience, childhood, and questions of self-worth. These are important to work through, as the rewards of addressing these issues and gaining more agency in your life are great. Even small changes can have important ripple effects on how you feel about yourself, your professional life, and your close relationships.
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You can hear Ari Tuckman talking in more detail about ADHD and time on YouTube. Or get his book, The ADHD Productivity Manual.
You could also check out Jessica McCabe’s YouTube channel, How To ADHD.